By Will Heydel
Scripture Reading: Philippians 3:1-11, Proverbs 8:22-36, 1 Peter 2:1-10
Have you ever wondered what it takes to have a deep, meaningful relationship with someone? I’ve found it to be in the level of your ability to suffer with someone. If this is true in a relationship, then you feel more known by others because you are “removing the mask,” so to speak. If this is not true, the relationship will lack intimacy and trust.
For example, I admire my wife and have our whole marriage. For many years, I thought, “She can do it all.” She gave birth to four kids in seven years, designed complete renovations within our home, fixed things I didn’t know how to fix, and built job descriptions that didn’t exist in her places of employment. To me, she was doing just fine. Until I realized that she wasn’t, and I wasn’t okay either.
A decade into our marriage, we realized we had to get to where we could admit we were not okay. Truthfully, I didn’t want to “know her in her sufferings.” I was acquainted with them but afraid of them. While we still haven’t “arrived” per se, we have taken steps of faith together onto paths of discomfort, pain, struggle, or suffering, and a deeper connection has formed, intimacy has grown, and trust has been earned.
When suffering comes, sin separates, pain permeates, or trials test, we are tempted to dismiss, stuff, isolate, or blame. We drive a wedge between ourselves and others because our sinful tendency is to hide what is true about us (Genesis 3:7–8). But the way of Jesus was suffering, no matter the cost. The road to redemption was through a rugged cross, culminating in a victorious resurrection. And to know Christ is to know His sufferings as well as His victory (Philippians 3:10). The road to this victory was a road of suffering. In my seemingly comfortable culture, this is the road less traveled.
Have you suffered lately? Are you suffering now? It could be emotional, relational, physical, or spiritual suffering. Whatever it might be, what would it look like for you to invite your suffering Savior into your deepest pain? This is the safest place to be. He can sit with you in it. “For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet he did not sin.” (Hebrews 4:15) He is acquainted with grief, unafraid of our pain, and has removed the sting of death forever.
Written by Will Heydel
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